I hate knowing that a relationship will come to an inevitable end and that it will honestly just cause you pain. I am so confused and upset that I don’t even know what to do. Its not like it is a real relationship, it was just supposed to be casual sex. I have went from thinking that I had real feelings to wanting nothing to do with him. I am so frustrated and I don’t know what will help.
"How are you?" Isn’t really a question, it’s more of a comment in which you reply "OK" or "Fine". So many people ask how you are but most, maybe all of the people who ask you how you are doing don’t actually want to hear the truth. They ask to start up a conversation or to be polite, but when you respond with something negative, like how you actually ARE feeling most people feel awkward. I honestly think that its really sad that people are just expected to respond a certain way instead of being honest. Don’t ask if you don’t want a real answer.
I feel like it is really hard to be a genuine person. At church you have to be one person, another at school, another at home, ect… How can you honestly be the same person all around? In the past I have gone to a nightclub and made out with a random girl and the very next morning went to church, how can those two things fit into one person’s life? I honestly have anxiety problems when people from my school show up at my church or if any of the other boxes that I put different versions of myself inside of get mixed together. I am a people pleaser, I am terrified of rejection so I just try to be the person that everyone else wants me to be.
It was so awkward when a straight girl in my choir class caught me checking her out, but what can I say, she has an amazing ass. XD